Questions/Answers from Carolyn

From Carolyn:

Ken has been keeping the blog updated on a daily basis and I have been keeping my own daily journal. The journal I have been compiling is mostly filled with Nick's thoughts and questions throughout his illness as well as his daily progress. Nick has been so strong and brave throughout this ordeal. He asks so many interesting questions about his treatment and some of these I would like to share with you.

"Why does the cancer grow?"

"Why can't they cut it out?"

"Once chemo is complete, can the cancer return?"

And

"Do the GCSF shots(the ones I give to him for 10 days following chemo)have white blood cells in them?"

Ken and I together answer his questions as honestly and thoroughly as possible.. As you can imagine, some of the questions are really tough. I have wanted to cry at times as I look into his big, trusting brown eyes to give him answers. Of course, all I want to tell him is "Nick…everything is going to be okay." As he got ready to go back to the hospital Friday night, he went to both Lawrence's and Kenny's rooms' as well as Leanna's to say "good bye" and "I love you" before he got into the car to head back to Sutter Memorial. He didn't complain, even though we knew how difficult it was for him to leave the comfort of his home and his family and head back to the hospital. Nick has handled it all with grace and courage. He then called me from the hospital at 11:30pm to pray. Nick and I pray together every night prior to him going to sleep. He cups my hand in between his and we say our prayers. I then bless him with holy water from Lourdes and holy water from Poland which we received from friends.

We thank each and every one of you for all your love & support. You have showered us with thoughts, prayers, calls, e-mails, flowers, gifts and dinners and made our lives a bit easier throughout this challenging time. We cannot thank you enough and are blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful family & friends.